crumpl ballpit

Crumpl Bangers

"Like sitting between two stages at a shit festival."
"Like sitting between two stages at a shit festival


Project Flake
Project Flake
Baby Shark
Baby Shark

Crumplstock: The Internet DJ Weekender



What is a Crumplbanger?

"Like sitting between two stages at a shit festival" - Lumpy

"Mildly offended you asked a photographer [to write the "about" section]... though I'm sure Colatron would do a great job... instead of one of the groups creative writers. So I'm not contributing... Taking my ball and going home. In fact, I'm going to spend the time I could have spent, doing this, composing a reply here, that is both irrelevant, arrogantly dismissive, and completely unusable as an 'about description' text, just to spite you for overlooking my literary genius. Crumplbangers has clearly always been a project, solely devised to pander to my own vanity, though I've usually made others believe that it was all, or partly their idea/s, through cunning manipulation, like an Illumicrumpl, if you may. It is the invention of my shear bloody brilliance, amplified against the bland mediocrity of the rest of the genre, like Scooby Doo running passed the repeating brown backdrops of a 1970s Hanna Barbara cartoon. I am the metaphorical elephant in the room, unignorable, yet unspoken, and able to drink up to a gallon of liquid in under a minute using my huge proboscis nose. Without me, and me alone, crumpl, would be nothing. I am the light, your mothers milk, and the very air you breath. I am the Emperor." - Emperor BSharp

"Use this." - Fingertrouble

"What is Crumpl/Crumplbangers?

Crumpl, 𝐶rVm-Pl𝜉 - verb: To inflict damage, usually aural, on others, by publicly humiliating yourself artisticly. From the old English word Crvmplbayngaerious

Crumpl/Crumplbangers, is a creative collective, that refuses to be defined,
It would be easier to say what Crumpl isn't.
Crumpl isn't pretentious superstar DJs, over polished R&B, attitude rap, or soulless corporate pop.
Crumpl never takes itself... or copyright law seriously.
At its core, Crumpl is the sound of WTF. The rhythms of ridiculousness.
The art of the anarchic, and the fashion of the fabulously flawed.
Often terrible, but not oblivious to the aesthetic.

The good, the bad, and the fugly.
...but never the mediocre.

L'crumpl est un appelant de bingo en surpoids avec son doigt dans le fond d'un âne." - Emperor BSharp

"Crumpl is a way of life" - Colatron

"Like a mehshup but good" - Colatron

"thats not easy....we kinda stuck with the idea that there is no definition." - Oki

"Never in the field of sonic conflict was so much owed by so many to so few. We shall mix them on the beaches, we shall mix on the landing grounds, we shall mix in the fields and in the streets, we shall mix in the hills, we shall never sell-out." - Doc Flay

"It's Crumpl innit" - Alvin Starburst

"that day, music stopped beeing something to talk about. it simply was. or even wasnt. just a heartbeat, a vibration, nothing to remeber. nothng to forget.
just a moment in time, and then...the sound of a kazoo. crying out the pain of all existance.
and then it was gone" -

"Not your parents music." - DJ Cougar

"Not anybody's music." - pomDeter

"Crumplebangers, because there were no other words left to describe that genre." - ToToM

"Crumpl is all about qualiyt" - GaraGara

"Well... it's better than nothing." - DJ Kal

"Crumplebangers: The smoothie of music, with chunks." - Hazard

"you know that genre thats like that, its nothing like that" - Scott Cairo

"no not like that either its a bit like that other stuff but a bit more - you know, like that" - Scott Cairo

"oh ffs its like this >insert link<" - Scott Cairo

"Or just forget it and add" - Scott Cairo




Likes walks in the park and the smell of rain.



International Configuration Analyst

Business in the front, party round the back.



Tarmac slinger

"You bitch! You cow!"

Scott Cairo

Scott Cairo


Interests: Clay and model trains.